I love grass. The feel, the smell, that iridescent green glow, are second to none. However, that phosphorus factory known as the Canada Goose is also a big fan of a neatly trimmed lawn. As is the shiftless algae bloom, a fiend for excess nitrogen, and nothing says excess like an acre of grass no one has ever caught a football or baseball on. The American lawn consumes more of our hard fought resources than any other agricultural product. Think about that next time you fire up the fifty horse riding lawn mower. Blood, sweat, and tears shed so that you can perpetuate a show of wealth that originated among the Lords and Ladies, Dukes and Duchesses, and Earls and Earlesses?...Earlies?...Earletts?...yeah, Earletts, of our original oppressor, Mother Britain. We slave over these green stoves bi-weekly during the summer and I swear some people have children for the soul purpose of having someone else to mow that field, even if for a few years.

Hear me right, we don’t want anyone to go outside and plow under their back forty. Assess your property. Are there areas of your lawn that you could eliminate and put to more productive use? Does your fairway need to run all the way to the waters edge? Wouldn’t it be nice to have your freshly grown herbs simmering in a pan? Have you ever tried a little low heat, drizzle of olive oil, and a heap of grass clippings? Let’s just say, if it there were any redeeming value, Byerlys would stock it on the shelves.