Terrestial Invasives Species...Growing Rampant

Terrestial Animals:

Earthworms – The earthworm is an invasive and it destroys wild flowers and young saplings. Our forests developed without these crawlers and our trees are having a hard time adapting. True, we cannot eliminate the ones that are already here, but if we don’t spread them they really don’t move very fast.

Mute Swan – The Mute Swan is anything but. Obviously not loved by their father and rife with mother issues, this bad tempered bird is the bully of the Eastern wetlands. Their orange bills and large black knobs between their beady eyes are yet another source of humiliation for this Old-World Native. Envy of the all black bills possessed by our stunningly gorgeous local swans is apparent by the constant blushing by the non-mute Mute Swan. First ridicule the ugly oversized chicken, and then report sightings to your local DNR.

Canada Goose – Hissing, squawking, flapping, crapping, these flying dirt birds from north of the border are one of the top non-human contributors to Our Lake’s green tint and ever-blossoming algae blooms. Near extinction in the middle part of the 20th century, man decided to meddle with the forces of nature and now the flying version of the carp numbers in the millions, if not trillions. Discourage their habitation of our lake by creating a natural boundary between your shoreline and Your Lake.

Gypsy Moth – Gypsy! Give me your tears! If you will not give them to me, I will take them from you! What? Not that kind of gypsy? Well this wandering scavenger hitch hiked over from Europe in 1889 and has creeped, crawled, and fluttered its way to the Mississippi River line. They will devour over 500 varieties of trees, but they love the sweet taste of Aspen and the mighty Oak. Sure a tiny moth might not seem troublesome, it may seem like just another ugly butterfly. Sorry, not true. When these moochers move in they will devastate forests and leave thousands of squirming caterpillars and heaps of moth crap under every defenseless tree. Slow their roll by using local firewood, checking all gear over when traveling through invested areas, and become familiar with their lifecycle and where it might be found. I will look on your treasures, gypsy. Is this understood?

Terrestrial Plants:
Amur Maple – As if we needed another invasive species from Eurasia, this smaller, feistier cousin of our north woods brother doesn’t pick on trees his own size, but preys on the tiny native grasses and other plants that provide valuable ground cover. It has long, narrow leaves with three shallow lobes and double toothed edges. It resprouts quickly after being cut down, so slap on a little herbicide and make sure that baby is dead for good.

Buckthorn – This aggressor may look like a tree, but it is officially listed as a noxious weed. Like a weed, the only way to kill it is to get the whole plant, root and all. If you can’t get the root, cut it low and paint the stub with a good strong weed killer. Its lack of natural controls allows it to sprout early, shading out native forest plants and eliminating ground cover for cute fuzzy animals. Then it has the audacity to drop it’s narrow, veiny, waxy leaves at the last possibly moment. It also harbors other foreign pests like the Crown Rust Fungus and every vegan’s favorite, the Soybean Aphid. This scourge must be stopped. My Great Grand Father told me that the British Red Coats brought this hedge weed into our fair lands in a ploy to stem our inevitable progress as a nation. Well, break free of your shackles and cry out at the top of your lungs, “LIVE BUCKTHORN FREE, OR DIE!”

Bull Thistle – Yes, we have native thistles in this great land of ours and the Bull Thistle is just another example a foul tasting look-a-like that displaces our native plants purely because animals will not touch them. Native thistles are delicious when cooked correctly, but these Eurasian posers got the look without the sparkle. Pull by roots or mow and spot spray w/ herbicide to prevent reseeding.

Canada Thistle – Another threat from the Great White North, this thistle threatens ecological diversity the same way as so many other invasive get the job done, horizontal vegetative reproduction. Even the smallest bit of root can find purchase and start a brand new colony. Pull, mow, chop, and spray. Just make sure you get them before the go to seed.

Creeping Charlie – Sounds like a nickname they gave old Chuck when he was doing time in Stillwater for peeping in on his neighbors wife, sadly this creeper can’t be locked up.

Garlic Mustard – This nasty tasting weed can take over a forest floor and eradicate a thriving habitat in only ten years. Pretty white blooms and dark green leaves make this noxious weed a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Pull them up in small areas and treat chemically for larger infestations.

Norway Maple – Like most things from that neck of the woods, the Norway Maple is taller, wider, and stronger than it’s American counterpart the Sugar Maple. Extended darkness has no affect on its rapid growth and development hence other, more sun reliant flowers, plants, and trees suffer in its shadow. Cut the stump, and pray she does not crush you with her fall, and treat with weed killer.

Purple Loosestrife – Nearly every county in Minnesota and nearly the same percentage of lakes are infested with the wanton Purple Loosestrife. Once a fad favorite with the phallic oriented Roman aristocracy, it has never been proven, but some claim that Nero was actually tending to this wetland plant when his Empire came a tumbling down. Let us not allow history to repeat itself on our account.